So my laptop has been out of commission for about the last month & a half. Over this time, I have read a fistful of books, rediscovered favorite songs, overdosed on homemade mango salsa, revamped an appreciation for coffee, visited countless parks, went bowling for the first time since I was twelve, saw Bridesmaids three times in theaters, & adopted bright red-orange hair. Jenny Teacups also turned a year old.
Photo by Eylyana.
Trauma symptom: "Limited affect; such as inability to cherish loving feelings." I've been having trouble accepting & focusing on the good things. I've been wasting too much time staring at myself in the mirror.
I read & belatedly became mesmerized by Janet Fitch's White Oleander.
- "Can't we ever go home? I asked my mother. We have no home, she told me. I am your home."
- "There 's no one else in the world but you & me, don't you know that? Please don't leave me alone here."
- "I liked it better this way. Beauty was deceptive. I would rather wear my pain, my ugliness."
- "I felt just the way Billie Holiday sounded, like I'd cried all I could & it wasn't enough."
- "I wanted to tell her not to entertain despair like this. Despair wasn't a guest, you didn't play its favorite music, find it a comfortable chair. Despair was the enemy."
- "The Romans were right. One can bear anything. The pain we cannot bear will kill us outright."
I've been wondering how exactly to jump back into blogging: expect many new recipes & introspective posts on body-identity in relation to everyday situations.